Shine on

My light has been dimmed for the past few days. As embarrassing as this is going to sound, I'm just going to let it out. My light has been dimmed because recently I have been looking down on myself. I've been on this whole positive mind thinking since the beginning of the year and I suppose it does take more than that to keep yourself up. Appearance is kinda a minimum priority for me but I guess it's because I actually don't like looking at myself in the mirror. I haven't since I was 13. Waheyy..long time I know. I go to toilets and avoid mirrors..and if I do catch myself, I'm always suprised by the way I look..cos I don't look at myself that often.
I guess I have been quite stressed doing assignments and what not. And it had a major effect on my body and when I say body, I meant the facial area. I've gone through thick and thin with this part of my body over the last 10 years. There's at least once a year where I always go insane and think that I'm probably the ugliest person and a reason why I'm still single. Whoa, emo I know..Then I go through the whole theres more to life and pick myself up again. Being single is good as long as I think it is and right now I choose to think that it is, 1st positivity.
I suppose, what I've gone through has made me not want to conform to a lot of things and made me appreciate things much more. Yes I do believe that people don't actually concentrate on all those, spots, but we're all human. One way or another, we care about what other people think. Judgment fills the air.
I feel stupid now because people do read this. Yes even if it's you melnuttavon. People don't know me like you guys do. You can tell that I am embarrassed by the lack of spacings and the usual paragraphs. haha...ha. Maybe if I swish it all no one will bother reading it. But I feel like writing. Oh wells, yea I'm fine now. My light is brighter.